I work with couples to understand the difficulties that they are experiencing in the relationship. I invite each partner to express their individual issues, while the other partner listens. This is often the first time that each person has heard and fully understood their partners’ distress. I then invite each person in turn to describe the future they would like to see, and what they could individually do to change the situation. Summarising common goals and elements of the future, encourages partnership and collaboration on a shared journey. Communication difficulties are a common theme identified by couples, and we explore ways of developing richness and depth, greater understanding. I also suggest homework tasks, as well as ground rules on how to fight fairly.